INDO-CANADIAN MOTHER OF TWO WINS MRS SOUTH ASIA CANADA
Meet Sonya Bell. A girl next door, free spirited and with passion galore, a daughter, sister, mother and a friend to many. Sonya is the recent winner of Canada’s Mrs South Asia held on July 23rd at Rose Theatre, Brampton, showing that brains and beauty can co-exist in beautiful harmony.
Sonya was born in Mumbai, India and comes from a conservative, middle-class, close-knit family. Sonya is the eldest first girl in the family. Sonya’s father, Indian Navy personnel was always away fulfilling his duties towards his country and constantly sailing. Most of the time, it was Sonya, her mum and brother at home.
“I remember we would constantly move from one place to another, to get settled in a new place and yet keep our lives normal was my mum’s strength. Credit goes to her to raise us in absence of my father.”
Sonya Bell: Mrs.South Asia Canada
Growing up in naval base helped Sonya develop her passion for her Country. She would watch Naval officer performing various drills, exercises and her favourite memories were when she and brother would get chance to visit the fighter ships, Jets and helicopters.
“Watching my dad marching in his crisp, white uniform during Republic day and Independence day made me feel very proud of him and of my country.
“Even as a child, I was a dreamer building my own fort, but at the same time a responsible and sensible kid”
She would conjure up her own dreams and create worlds of her own. After school, Sonya would help out at home, participate in curricular activities and spend time with her Nani (grandmother).
“I loved to watch old movies with my family, aunts and Nani. I was inclined towards arts right from the beginning and took part in all the competitions I could.
Family get together at her grandmother’s house were Sonya’s favourite memories and she fondly reminisces them.
“Sunday movies were the big events over the weekend. I was enthralled by the magic of cinema, and would be ready to perform on any dance number that came up on the screen. I was known for my love for dance and arts.”
A talkative child, she always felt ahead of her time. In school, kids would discuss their problems with Sonya.
“I would get into little discussions with people, looking to get my point across, never backing down even when these discussions were perceived as arguments.”
Even today, Sonya is referred to as being strong-headed and a feminist and the same was said of her from a very young age.
“Academically, I was a smart kid and had big plans for myself. I remember my grandmother always used to say during exam time, that they never knew when my exams came and went but the house would be upside down during my brothers and cousins exams!”
But destiny has its own twists and turns and things changed very quickly for Sonya when her family moved to suburbs of Mumbai and when her father suffered a severe stroke, paralyzing his entire right side. Sonya had never felt so weak, seeing her father’s struggle.
From that young age, Sonya took the responsibility of her family and became the bread earner. She went from being a daughter and sister to becoming the ‘Mother’ of her family. From this point forward, life was tough.
“My struggles taught me great life lessons and brought my fighting spirit back, I was not going to bow down to those who thought I was weak and give up. I faced harassment, bullying, and threats growing up.”
While the real world was tough, Sonya survived and thrived as she says “when tough gets going, the going gets tough.”
During this time, Sonya had to let some of her dreams wither away, but felt a great sense of satisfaction in seeing her mother’s pride grow through Sonya’s actions. But her mother watching her struggles dampened that pride.
“My mother watched me quietly; and her prayers always got me through.”
Sonya worked as a teacher, ran tuition and dance classes, worked as an office administrator, did modelling assignments — all to bring prosperity and help to her dad and family.
During her modelling, she was noticed and was offered the opportunity to pursue something she enjoyed.
“I met some incredible people from the industry who are now my mentor and friends, but at the same time there was unwanted attention too”
Being a girl and trying to support family was not easy for Sonya. She had to overcome lots of challenges.
“People are always ready to talk negative and slay a woman’s pride. They never come forth to help you but will be quick to point fingers at you.”
Sonya’s parents worried constantly about her safety and as in Indian culture parents want to see their daughter’s married and settled, so at the age of 24, Sonya got married and within a year joined her husband in Canada.
“I was very clear that I would never abandon my parents after marriage and would always support them.”
Her fiancee’s family wanted her to change her religion before getting married, which she agreed to do. Her faith was higher and more spiritual. Sonya never felt defined by her religion, as she always felt a deeper and higher connection to the almighty above.
When Sonya arrived in Canada, she found herself alone. She had no family, relatives, or friends.
“Trying to make friends and connect to the community was one hurdle to pass. People would pass comments about your skins colour and ask questions like, you are from India and you can speak English?”
She started looking for work immediately after her giving birth to her daughter. “I needed a job as it was not sufficient for us to run the household with one income.” Her first job in Canada was as a sales rep at Laura Petite at Square One, Mississauga. “I thank Laura Petite for giving me this opportunity as it was getting difficult to secure a job without any experience in Canada; they helped me build my resume.” After that Sonya worked in various organization building her skills and competence. She was able to help in buying their first house and car.
“Although, my jobs helped me financially, leaving my kids at babysitters was not a great experience. My daughter would come home crying or being scared. I constantly worried about her safety, but I had no choice. I know many mothers will agree with me on this”
As the years passed, many things changed between Sonya and her Husband. Work, home, kids and no family support had brought Sonya to rethink whether it was a good decision to come to Canada.
Sonya compromised a lot and found herself in a rut of pleasing everyone. Her heart bled seeing her kids growing up without her grandparents, cousins, uncles, and aunties love. As a family, they became very lonely.
At this time, about eight years after arriving in Canada, Sonya’s depression had crept further in and she couldn’t take it anymore. After 10 years of marriage and having had two beautiful children, Sonya and her husband separated.
“Marriages don’t end because of one particular reason, there are many incidents and circumstances that play major role to call it quits.”
Sonya felt that no one would understand what she was going through. She lived in her truck with her two children, stayed in people’s basements, stood in line at the food banks.
“There was a time when I wanted to end our lives. I couldn’t stand to see my children suffering.”
And yet, she felt unable to tell any of this to her parents or her friends. No one knew her struggles. She always put on a brave and happy face in front of others, and this is something that she still does. But as they say, Faith will get you through, and Sonya believes this to be true.
“My journey is sheer miracle. God’s Grace and my mother’s blessings. After my separation, I have met amazing people who have helped me to gain my confidence back and stood by me and my kids. After all the trails that I have been through, I still stand tall and have the same dreams in my eyes.”
Once again tragedy stuck on December 12th, 2015 as Sonya lost the most important person in her life, her mother. Sonya went through denial and depression. “I still am in denial, my mother was my strength, although far away on the other side of the world, her presence was enough for me.” she says.
Taking part in the pageant was a path for Sonya to embrace her- self and re-discover her dreams and who she is as a person.
I never thought I would be the Winner, as all the final 20 contestants were beautiful and talented mums.”
Winning Mrs. South Asia Canada title has become a tool for Sonya to extend her hand to empower all those who have lost faith in themselves.
“Nothing in this world is negative; we cause this negativity around us. We blame others for our shortcomings. “
Sonya says: “Let the life within you take its own course. We all are much more than we think we are. We have strength to overcome any atrocities. I look around and see so many people suffering; each one has their own story to tell. Each story will inspire you.”
Today Sonya is looking forward to working with the organisations that gave her a jump start during her low times.
These organisations include: India Rainbow, local food banks, Peel Region of Canada plus so many more. “There is support out there, people don’t need to be alone or feel lonely. I think this is my purpose, to help the community and empower women and children.”
Sonya will be working towards her own goals to bring her new business as an Arbonne Independent consultant to fruition, and she is working towards becoming a realtor and work harder so she can give her children a head start and make them children of substance. She urges everyone to support local businesses, as these are run by those who are supporting their family and need community support to make them thrive.
“I believe we were put on to this earth to achieve our greatest self, to live out our purpose and to do it courageously, by believing in our self and empowering others. Don’t be Judgmental of others, world needs healing and peace. Let’s pray and bring humanity back.”
To get in touch with Sonya for speaking engagements or other event participation, please email Sonya Bell at mrssouthasiacanada@gmail.com
